


Tina Trashmouth

by BatBoyBlog



Category: IT - Stephen King
Genre: AU, Drabble, Drag Queens, Self-Indulgent, why the hell not
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-10-12 01:07:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20555690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BatBoyBlog/pseuds/BatBoyBlog
Summary: I've always thought that in a modern re-telling of IT Richie would be an insult comic drag queen, so I figured I'd write the opening to the phone call for that.





	Tina Trashmouth

Richie Tozier flipped open a compact to check his make up one last time. Back stage at what had to be the millionth no name gay bar of this tour somewhere in the middle of America. ‘Well beats working for a living’ Richie thought looking at his red lips, checking his teeth for lipstick. He ran a finger over his teeth his long lacquered nails clicking softly. On stage some local queen, a 20something twink in a wig was giving a long winded and not very funny opening. Richie was only half listening picking out a few of her flat jokes to read later in his set. Looking into the little mirror Richie smiled “oh girl, those eyes look crazy” he whispered to himself and laughed clicking the compact closed. Richie whispered what he said to himself before every show “Richie Tozer’s the name, doing voices is my game”. He slipped the compact into a pocket of floor length gown and marched up the steps to the stage heels clicking.

The local queen looked almost scared of him and at over 6 feet tall before the heels and towering pile of brown wig on his head Richie understood why. He guessed though she was more scared of the famous trashmouth queen of mean. “Tina Trashmouth everyone!” she managed to shout before Richie grabbed the mic out of her hands and shooed her off stage. Richie opened his mouth and the voice of Tina came out without a pause. If you had to pause to find your voice it was never there in the first place.

“Thank you Mini-Driven, and yes I am old enough to be your mother, but unlike her I would have gotten that abortion!” The hoots and snaps washed over Richie the stage lights playing over the red sequins of his dress he showed a wolfish grin before launching into his set.

An hour later Richie marched into the dressing room, his heels slung over his shoulders. He settled down into his chair in front of the make-up mirror. His face had smugged a little, the lights were hell, but not too bad, nothing a touch up couldn’t fix before the meet and greet. Richie pulled a wet wipe out and dabbed the sweat from his forehead before lifting his arm and taking a sniff. “Oh!” Richie reached for a few more wipes when his phone started to buzz. He flipped the phone over and looked at the number. He almost didn’t answer, he didn’t recognize the number after all. The 207 area code, Maine, gave Richie pause, in a flash he thought of his 70 year old parents in their house in Portland. In that moment he was sure it was a call from Maine Medical Center calling to tell him his father had fallen off a ladder doing some damn home improvement or his mother’s high blood pressure had finally given her a stroke.

Richie picked up the phone and hit the green answer button “hello?” He said. “Hi, Richie?” came an unfamiliar voice answered back. Richie relaxed back into his chair, hospitals call you ‘Mr. Tozier’ whoever this was they weren’t an emergency. He let Tina take the wheel on this. “Hi honey and who the fuck is this calling a lady while she’s working?” He heard Tina say almost like his mouth was in a different room. His free hand was reaching for a lip liner. “Richie it’s Mike?” The voice in the phone sounded unsure. “Mike from Drag Queen Mech or the Mike from Grindr I rimmed last week?” Tina asked.

“Mike Hanlon, from Darry” The voice answered. Richie dropped the lip liner he’d just picked up. His hand slowly moved up to his wig and pulled it off dropping it on the make up table in front of him. Richie looked at his reflection, the white wig cap, the huge eye make up, stacked lashes, blood red lips, it was almost clown like and wasn’t that a horrible thought. 

“Rich?” Came Mike’s voice out of the phone. “Yeah Mikey, I’m here” it was Richie’s voice now, Tina was gone, all the voices were gone now. 

“I hate to do this to you, but… It’s back, you have to come back to Darry”


End file.
